Here are some ways to control a nagging wife and make her shut up grin :
1.Show her what you do with your time.
Tell her that you are concerned that she hasadistorted picture of your daily activities and that you hope this helps clarify her perception of your time management and prioritizing skills. Jot down what you do in an average day, on work days and on non-work days. Post these two lists (including time frames) on the refrigerator door, but do not point them out to her.
Include periods of relaxation/entertainment/rest and defend them. Just because she may feel overwhelmed by all the things she’s noticed needing attention doesn’t mean it would be wise of you to indulge her the misconception that her priorities are reasonable and/or shared by you.)
Explain how you prioritize your time and defend your reasoning. Refuse to take on more than you feel is reasonable in order to silence her current complaints; if she hasareal problemwithyou, she’ll be quick to transfer her venom to another aspect of your behavior or personality. It is not wise to compromisewithawoman who has becomeanag.
2.Talk out loud, not in your head.
When your wife approaches asking you to do this or that, clearly tell her whether you will or won’t do what she wants you to do. If she tells you that she’s asked you to do something before and you never did it, remind her that you are not a subject, then tell her again whether you will or will not do what she wants you to do. Be firm regardless of her reaction; tears won’t fall forever and sniping retorts don’t deserve the indignity of an elaborate response.
3.Tell her that she’s become very insulting and hostile.
There isn’t an excuse for a wife to speak condescendingly to her husband; you are both adults and should always treat eachother with high regard. If she shows contempt for you and treats you disrespectfully, you must speak up and let her know what impact her behavior is having on you, and your feelings for her.A simple”Well that’s insulting.”in response to a demand made in a nasty tone should be sufficient, but if it’s not, take a moment and tell her that she’s hurting you and your relationship, and ask her to find another way to deal with her personal frustrations.
4.Adjust
A lovely wife transforming in to a withering shrew can happen gradually, or overnight; adjust your attitude and lifestyle to accommodate your wife’s new bad habit. If she has begun catching you on your way in the door from work each day, use a different door to enter the house. When she asks why you’ve changed your routine, tell her that you’re trying to avoid her barrage of requests and demands upon arrival from work. Tell her that you’ve decided to avoid her until she begins to treat you like she’d want to be treated when she is tired from a long day at work. If she persists, take a change of clothes to work with you the following day, and make sure she sees you do it. Change your clothes after work, then go home and carry out the rest of your daily routine as normal. This will help you avoid being cornered for a lecture in the few minutes it takes you to change clothes upon arriving home. Show her that the way she’s chosen to treat you is making you rethink the way you spend time with her in your home.
5.Talk back in equally concrete terms.
If your wife has decided on the role of suffering-hero, and pretends you do nothing to maintain or improve your home and the life you’ve share dwith her, add lists of your contributions to the notes on the refrigerator door. Insisting that your contributions be acknowledged may set her thinking straight again and force her to see a more realistic image of your life together. If she critiques your lists, point out to her that while she may feel her demands are more worthy, you will decide how you prioritize tasks and periods of rest in your day based on your own judgment, not strictly hers.
6.Push back.
If your wife follows rude remarks with comments/threats about divorce or separation, tell her that a temporary separation is something you might consider, but that you fear you wouldn’t want her to return after she’s treated you so rudely. Terminate the discussion then, and let her think over the idea. If she says”Fine! Go!”, remind her that you are thinking about her leaving, not you.
7.Be proactive.
When you wife wants to talk to you about something, stop her and redirect her to the list of chores or tasks she’s most recently assigned you. Tell her that she needs to get those done before she takes a break to talk. If she complains, remind her that that is how she’s been treating you and then walk away. If she continues to argue, remind her that it is her list and that if she thinks they are important enough to insult you over, they’re certainly important enough for her to take care of now that she has some free time.
8.Correct her.
If your wife’s eyes roll toward the ceiling when you’re speaking, stop and tell her to try to focus or you won’t continue the conversation you’re having. Use exclamations such as”Wow!”,”That was rude!”and”That’s enough!”in response to cutting comments or wild accusations. Shake your head as you walk away from such attacks to make it clear to her that you are not listening, nor will you, unless she begins to speak rationally about what is bothering her.
9.Ask her to leave.
If your wife won’t stop harassing and demeaning you, ask her to leave the house for a while, or permanently. Suggest she go to a movie or go for a walk to clear her head, or pack a bag and go stay with someone else, to give you a break. If a wife has decided she wants you out of her life, nagging may be her way of forcing you out of the home you share; remind her that she is free to leave if she is unhappy with you, but be firm that you live there too and you’ll continue to. Convince her of this by not leaving the property during arguments. Keep your focus on creating a loving, happy home, but do not insist that she be a part of it.
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